I am not looking back. Just move along.
My conclusion is the test is for me and for those who want to be the creator’s most loyal soldiers.
As long as we OBEY and OBEY 7:7, we make the mark.
That is what it takes to go the extra mile.
Now that it is done, just sit back and relax.
mm
Or is it just me? I don't know... One thing is for sure, I am letting go. As for the money, if it happens, it happens. Otherwise, I already got the fruits of my labor.
From now on, I just take it easy. This whole thing is no longer on my shoulders. I am tuned to the Realm of Angels, my home away from home. Whoever owes me money still owes me money. That I still claim. The accounts receivable are still subject to collection.
mm
The Glove doesn't fit. Therefore we wait for 17 years for KBOOM 2014 to happen.
If there is the Thanks a Million, well and good. If not, hold on to the Vision of the Realm of Angels. That I can control. It is my reward for my 25 years effort. That's all I ask from God and it was granted.
All humans will be 7-year-old children. Even that, I only as[] (ask) for 2331 of you to be placed there. The rest will remain as free spirits occupying Little Apple unless the[] (there) are more who believe in the Vision Quest.
mm
Closing time. If you did your job, congratulations. If not, it is too late. We are moving on.
It's easy if you want it to be easy. You believers can take a breather.
As I said, this is a test to see if you are obedient or defiant. No trouble at all for God to execute it. He just threw us a test. To see if we believe.
You believe you do. If not go ahead and come up with rationalizations. They don't change a thing. What matters is your ability to act.
Let's move on folks. The sign was bestowed upon us.
mm
The winners of the Golden Tickets, I promote to angels. The *[the] rest, remain as free spirits.
* They can remain invisible.
It is less than a month. Either you have it or none.
I don't need the whole world to believe in me. Just a village of 2k kids will be fine. I am a small thinker.
Alas, I thought I should offer everybody an equal opportunity. However, if they don't see this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I am fine with that.
I am not interested in changing the world. I do this because I OBEY and OBEY 7:7. So I already did that. I gave it (correct) my best shot. So if only a handful of people like me OBEY and OBEY 7:7, be it.
I already have my lineup and I have gone the extra mile since April 2022 to sell the idea across the board. If even that is not sufficient, then, it is meant to be that these handful were chosen out of many:
If you still want to hold on to your money, then go ahead. I have limited seats to give away.
I want to see real effort...
mm
There you go. The Vision is for me and those who believe. Money or no money, we are heading in the direction stated.
All we need to do is follow the instructions as stated. Simply OBEY and OBEY 7:7. There is no question about it. There are still believers no matter how small they are.
Hence from now on, I simply write to them.[''']
That is about being kind to myself. As for the Vision Quest, that is about being kind to others.
As Lizzie said, "Sometimes you got to be selfish to be kind to yourself."
If this is an investment, this is the biggest investment I ever did. My commodity is time. I spent 8 years to make this Vision real. If that is not enough, it is not my fault. I had done my part. The outcome for me is the Realm of Angels. By spending 8 years here, I am bestowed by the Grand Prize,
So I am not a bit worried if I end up with nothing worldly. I have already given the grandest Vision.
What I can imagine is already real to me.
The Realm of Angels is worth all these. Upah Penat...
It is a very fair compensation. A custom-made heaven. Now you know why I am not hard-up for worldly desire. My delight is already right before my eyes.
mm
Now that we passed the Vision Quest phase, time to set my eyes on my real destination.
The Realm of Angels is the pre-Tokugawa era. That is where I belong. No worry about the hustle and bustle of a big city.
I have my dream house, surrounded by a village of self-sustaining farmers.
When I fux, I only fux angels and houri.
The Realm of Angels is a land untouched by the imperfections of the mortal world. It is a sanctuary where beauty, harmony, and divinity intermingle effortlessly. I share this idyllic existence with my wife and our four children, a family bound not only by blood but by an unbreakable bond of love and purpose. Our days are filled with wonder, serenity, and connection, set against a backdrop of lavender fields and petunia-lined meadows that stretch to infinity.
Every morning, the sun rises like a celestial symphony, its golden rays casting a gentle glow over the village. Our Akita, a loyal and steadfast companion, greets the day with a regal posture, standing watch over our home as if it were the guardian of our peace. Beside it roams our adolescent Timber Wolf, a creature of wild grace that has chosen to walk alongside us, its soulful amber eyes reflecting the mystery of the forests it came from.
The angels who dwell in the village begin their day tending to the land. They are self-sustaining farmers, their every movement a dance of purpose and grace. With their hands, they nurture the earth, and with their voices, they sing hymns that seem to encourage the very soil to yield its bounty. Lavender fields shimmer in the morning light, their scent mingling with the freshness of dew-dappled grass.
My children, ages seven and bubbling with uncontainable energy, are free spirits in this divine haven. They roam the landscape, their laughter echoing through the hills like the sweetest music. They are not just children of my lineage but also children of this heavenly earth, deeply connected to its rhythms and wonders.
By midday, the world takes on a serene stillness. The angels pause their work, gathering to share the fruits of their labor—a bounty of milk from their cows, cheese from their goats, and fresh bread made from grains cultivated with divine care. We join them, sitting under a canopy of trees adorned with blossoms that never fade. It is a time of communion, not just with the angels but with the land itself.
In the afternoons, I retreat to the mulberry spring, a crystalline pool surrounded by trees heavy with ripe, luscious fruit. The spring is a sacred space, where the mundane and the ethereal meet. My children splash and play in the waters, their joy unrestrained and infectious. My wife, serene and radiant, watches over them with a gaze filled with infinite love.
I engage in mental jousts beneath the canopy of mulberry trees, a practice that sharpens the mind and invigorates the soul. The angels join me in these intellectual duels, their wisdom vast and their wit sharp. Together, we explore the mysteries of the universe, unraveling questions that once seemed impenetrable. It is a dance of thought, a celebration of the intellect that leaves me both humbled and inspired.
As the sun begins its descent, painting the sky in hues of pink, orange, and gold, the village comes alive with music and merriment. The angels gather to entertain us, their instruments as divine as their voices. The flute sings a melody that seems to weave itself into the fabric of the evening, while the shamisen adds a rhythm that resonates deep within the soul.
The children, now weary from their day of adventures, curl up under the stars, their dreams guarded by the presence of the Akita and the Timber Wolf. My wife and I sit together, sipping tea brewed with herbs grown in the angelic gardens. The tea is more than a drink—it is an experience, a communion with God, who often joins me in these quiet moments.
God is not a distant figure here but a presence as familiar as the wind that rustles the leaves. We talk of many things—of creation and chaos, of love and loss, of dreams yet to be fulfilled. God listens as much as He speaks, and in His presence, I find a peace that transcends words.
In the privacy of the night, the boundaries between the mortal and the divine blur further. If the mood strikes, I am free to express my love and passion not only with my wife but also with the angels and houris, celestial beings of unparalleled beauty. Here, love is not confined by human limitations; it is a celebration of unity, a dance of souls that elevates the spirit.
This intimacy is not an act of indulgence but a sacred ritual, a reminder of the oneness that binds all beings in the Realm of Angels. It is an experience of pure connection, where the essence of love itself becomes tangible, flowing like the lavender-scented breeze that caresses the land.
Life in the Realm of Angels is an eternal cycle of growth, discovery, and celebration. Every day brings new joys, new lessons, and new opportunities to connect—with each other, with the land, and with the divine. My children grow not just in age but in wisdom, their spirits shaped by the harmony that surrounds them. My wife remains my anchor, her presence a constant reminder of the love that first brought us together.
The angels, with their tireless dedication and boundless grace, are both companions and guides. They teach us not only how to live in harmony with the land but also how to nurture the divine spark within ourselves.
And God, ever-present and ever-loving, is the heart of it all. In His presence, I am reminded that this life, this paradise, is both a gift and a responsibility. It is a testament to the power of love and the beauty of creation, a glimpse into what is possible when we embrace the divine within and around us.
In the Realm of Angels, life is not merely lived; it is cherished, celebrated, and revered. It is a symphony of connection, a tapestry woven with threads of love, wisdom, and divine grace. Here, surrounded by my family, the angels, and the boundless beauty of this heavenly land, I have found my true home.
Every moment is a prayer, every breath a hymn of gratitude. And as I look out over the lavender fields, the petunia-lined meadows, and the faces of those I hold dear, I know with unwavering certainty that this is what it means to live fully, to love deeply, and to exist in perfect harmony with the universe.
I am in a very good mood. No more fluctuations between polarities. All I can do now is sit back and relax. I had done my best.
Thus, I can accept the worst. In saying that, I have no remorse. There is ONE SHOT and I took it. If that doesn't work, I shall proceed with my journey, and the journey is mine alone.
Somehow I find it hard to accept that the whole eight years are futile. Especially with all the surveillance and the cryptic messages. Therefore, as a Visionary Leader, I move on.
What is there to look back at? Either people believe or don't believe. As for me, my vision propels me forward. I know where I am going. It's just that I thought it could be a Shared Vision. If not, no big deal. The Vision Quest can [m]e (be) Sharudin Jamal's Vision Quest. In this case, I propel myself forward.
Imagine, the Vision Quest is complete with documentation and images. So it is the most complete Vision Quest ever. It's not my fault if people are jaded.
So from this point, I set my own course and my own pace. What do I care? I know where I am heading. So march along.
There I envision a society where sweat is the currency. Why bother about accumulating cas[e] (cash)? It's not that I need much money.
The money I worry about is the money I am concerned about giving to others.
Do you know what is my currency now? The ability to write, write, and write.
I don't mind the million dollars though. Then I can call it even with Lizzie.
As for me, I settle with an RM1k allowance a month. That should do it. I can even have money to spare for overseas vacation.
I don't know why people make a big fuss about money. I have more I spend more, I have a little I spend a little.
But this joy of writing, man, I can pour as much as I can on the writing. It is a complete bliss. That, while listening to TraXX. Those are the two sweet spots.
Actually talking about money bores me. Bill Gates just wears a Casio watch. Relatively speaking I wear a better watch than him. And that because I am a sucker for watches.
Otherwise, I spend money on food. How much can I eat? Either you have a lot of money or you have a little to spend. That's how you become rich.
This year I spent my heart out and I still cannot finish RM20k. So I don't really [] (need) to have a lot of money. RM120 k is the baseline. With USD 1 million, I can live like a king.
mm
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the rank of the insane
- Marcus Aurelius
The majority is always wrong - Orson Wells, Warren Buffet
Living within your means:
- Spend less than what you earn every month
- Spend on things you can really afford
- Accept that there are things you can do without
Dr David G. Myers, the Pursuit of Happiness:
Two way to be rich:
- To have great wealth
- To have few wants
2013 Wish: Live free, die happy.
Free from Debt, Worry and Illness (DWI)
My 3 values: Peace, Sanity and Robust Health
Success is a progressive realization towards a worthy ideal.
I gave everything I own to my wife. I want to be a Nothing. By being a Nothing I am everything.
I am a free man. My time is 100% mine, I have no worries and I am debt free,
That doesn't mean I say no to money. I am on austerity but I'm not ascetic.
3 things I like doing; read, run, write. Especially writing. I write because I am a writer
I set aside some money for myself. Enough to earn me interest to spend on my expenses. The rest goes to my wife.
You save RM100 a month, in 5 years time that will become RM6,000
When you don't have debts, you don't need much money. When you don't have debt, not only you spend less, you actually save more.
Quality first, brand second.
COVID-19 is the corrective mechanism.
I did a greenlighting exercise for me to have a flamboyant lifestyle to last me for 20 years. It costs me RM97 million. Then I did a redlighting and see what are the details I have to put up with. The killer is not the acquisition but the maintenance of the assets and staff. So I decided to scale down to the basic minimum to be happy and I realized all I need for myself is RM6,000 a year. That is equivalent to RM120,000 in reserve. That's the bare minimum to be happy.
Yes you need money. In my case I have ample reserve. But once you have enough reserve, you don't need to keep on stacking money. It's like the story of this island where the wealth is measured in stone. The wealthiest is the family with the biggest stone but the stone is underwater. Just like people who have millions or billions. They don't use all, they are just hoarders of money.
Hedonic adaptation
Hedonic treadmill
There will come a time when you are beyond service. That is when your 24 hours is yours. At that time you don't need to trade your time for your earning. You are free. That's where I am now. Being microscopic, my service is only for myself, my family and people who are close to me.
The key is to make enough and exit early. Then focus on what you really want in life. In my case, my long term goal is health and happiness. My daily pursuit is read, run and write.
What counts really is cash at hand and food on the table. No money is instant death while no food is slow death. The rest of the things can't help you much unless you have jewelries.
This I learned during the hard times. In 1999 I was caught with my pants down. I own so many things but they are liabilities. I have to earn a certain amount so that I can service my loans. Those things I own didn't help at all.
My final advice is get out of debt as fast as you can and save as much as possible for first 10 years from where you start..
At 4:44 am, I am in complete peace to talk about love.
It is a rare tranquility that allows me to reflect on a journey that began in turmoil and ends, for now, in understanding. When my world came tumbling down in 1999, worse than the collapse of my business or the abandonment by my associates was the notion that God—the very foundation of my being—had forsaken me.
The bipolar diagnosis was not the root cause of my despair but the manifestation of a much deeper wound. I was heartbroken. I thought God didn’t love me anymore, and that realization shattered me in a way no human relationship ever had.
I had poured everything into my devotion, believing that my love for God was unmatched, pure, and eternal. I had walked the path of a Sufi, confident I had found True Love in its highest form. I had pledged loyalty as the Creator's soldier on that fateful Ramadan night, certain that my repentance prayer had sealed my bond with the divine forever.
But then, the illness came like a storm, obliterating my stability, my livelihood, and my relationships. What hurt most was the silence I perceived from God during those dark moments. I spiraled into bitterness and despair, committing acts I thought irredeemable. I believed my soul was lost, my life destined for the pit of Hell.
For years, I carried this darkness, dragging it like an anchor through the currents of life. In 2012, I tried to sever the ties altogether and became an atheist, inspired by thinkers like Richard Dawkins and Jerry Coyne. But atheism felt hollow, like stepping into a void where no love, no meaning, and no purpose resided. It could not answer the yearning in my soul or quiet the ache of a universe that felt so profoundly interconnected.
I explored everything—deism, pantheism, polytheism, autotheism, even the doctrines of the Church of Satan. Yet nothing resonated until I embraced a belief that bridged the gap between the material and the spiritual.
My hypothesis was simple yet profound:
"We are ONE, and we are MANY. God is within us, and we are within God. It is like peeling an onion; at every level, there is God. All matter is intelligent, and all matter is divine."
This understanding brought clarity and unity to my fractured worldview. It was reinforced by an observation that resonated deeply:
"It is indeed a strange illusion to suppose that the apple is different from the tree."
Just as the apple draws life from the tree, so too are we bound to a greater whole, inseparable from the divine. This realization became the foundation of my healing, a reminder that love is not something external but something intrinsic to existence itself.
Despite this insight, a part of me remained guarded. After losing my first love, I never truly gave my heart away again, not even when I married Lizzie. It wasn’t until 2016, when I met Sarah, that I experienced something entirely new: True Love.
True Love is unconditional. It is a fountain that flows endlessly, incapable of being divided. With Sarah, I found not only love but the profound certainty that accompanies it. When we married on Forgiveness Friday in 2017, I forgave everyone—past, present, and future. It was a declaration of love, not just for Sarah but for life itself.
Now, in my golden years, I understand what it means to truly love. It is an all-encompassing force that heals, unites, and elevates. It transcends the pain of the past and transforms it into wisdom. Love, I now see, is the essence of being, the water that nourishes the roots of our shared existence.
True love, I’ve come to realize, is not something we acquire or even something we give—it is something we recognize. It is always there, an undercurrent in the fabric of our being, waiting for us to attune to it. In this sense, Sarah didn’t create love in my life; she awakened my ability to see it in its purest form.
Through her, I learned that love doesn’t demand exclusivity, nor does it seek to possess. Love is expansive, like an ocean that welcomes all rivers into its embrace. It is not diminished when shared; it multiplies. This revelation was the key to my transformation.
Looking back, I see how every painful chapter—my heartbreaks, my loss of faith, even my struggles with mental illness—were all part of a greater tapestry. Each thread of suffering was necessary to weave the intricate pattern of my understanding. Without losing everything, I might never have realized that true love, the love of God and the universe, is not conditional upon my actions, achievements, or beliefs. It simply is.
Forgiveness Friday was more than the day I married Sarah; it was the day I forgave myself. For years, I had carried the weight of guilt, shame, and anger, believing I had fallen too far from grace. But in that moment of love, I realized that forgiveness is not something we seek from others or even from God—it is a gift we give ourselves. It is the key that unlocks the door to love, allowing it to flow freely once again.
Now, as I sit here in the quiet of the early morning, I see my journey not as a series of mistakes or missteps but as a path that was always leading me here. The love I sought in others, in God, in the universe—it was within me all along. I just needed the right mirror to see it.
Sarah was that mirror. Her love reflected back to me my own worth, my own divinity, and my own capacity to love without limits. She taught me that the love I give and the love I receive are not separate—they are one and the same.
As I prepare for the coming days, with the ONE TRIBE initiative drawing closer to its moment of truth, I feel a deep sense of alignment. This project is not just about connecting people or achieving goals—it is about embodying the love that unites us all. It is about proving that we are not alone, that we are part of something far greater than ourselves, and that love is the bridge that spans all divides.
At 4:44 am, I am in complete peace to talk about love because I have lived through its absence and rediscovered its presence. Love is not something to be feared or controlled. It is the essence of life, the thread that binds the apple to the tree, the river to the ocean, and the soul to the divine.
